Long time never study le.. got problem trying to keep still to study for test.. haha but eventually manage to finish studying for test.

Realise i want a lot of things. So i also get myself a wishlist.

1. A Study Table
2. A new laptop
3. A LCD tv for my room
4. A new handphone
5. A girlfriend
6. A tour trip to Taiwan or Hong Kong

Any sponsor?

Lonely, So true..

Long long time since i blog. Ya. partly because busy but most importantly don know what to blog. Life is the same for me not much changes and everyday is as normal as it can be. Does not go out much often as before except for some pool and mahjong session. Life is still not fulfilled. lonely as before and has not found the person or things to work hard for to keep myself moving ahead. The fire in me to excel is low.

Still waitng patiently for my day to come. The day when i can leave the army. However I am going to step into a next chapter of my life this friday. Going to finally start studying this friday after talking about it for so long.

Quite satisfied with the course though the university may not be that well known. The duration of the course and content to be taught are to my liking. Anway i will be studying at APMI Kaplan. The university i will be studying is Mudorch University and the course i will be taking is Bachelor of commerce - Double major in Toursim and hospitality And Marketing. It is a 1.5 yrs course. Timing is just right. After graduating, I will be able to leave the army le.

Not that I want to say, but i think my weekend is really boring..Practically nothing to do.. Don like weekend. Lonely lonely lonely for staying at home. Even if wanted to go out also don know Wat to do, who to go with. People don like to go out with me.. ha ha.. Don wanna only things to do on weekend is mahjong. There should be other things also.. I am still searching of meaning things to do to fill up my weekend.

Simply Don understand why it is so hard to be happy.. trying very hard to be happy. My life should be as beautiful as Wat others life are But at least i am better now.. trying to accept things the way they are.. A thought flash across my mind.. Maybe Wat is bothering me is loneliness.. Maybe getting old le. I am afraid of loneliness and my life revolve around people around me, so I scared of loneliness. Just a thought.. Who will cares.. haha..

Maybe when school starts in January and I have things to do, I will feel better.. haha.. Life goes on whether I am happy a not and I must learn to look ahead in future..

Went Ktv today... Me, Sher fun, Wan Yee and Pei Yoke.. 4 Hours of singing.. Start the session quite dead.. don know what we are singing.. Quite fun and AGAIN.. we ate Sakae Sushi for dinner.. haha..

Happy Birthday SINGAPORE !!!

I am proud to be a Singaporean :)

Somehow I seems to have lost my direction for a while, but I think i am going to find it back soon. Its seems that i am going to overcome my own hurdle and to accept the things as they are. I feeling much better now.. :)

I know people are concerned abt me. Thanks. I will try to be happy

Yeah.. Book out liao.. There are still many many book out that are going to come along the way. I am downgraded to C2L2 and just being given excused Chin up and Standing board jump for IPPT test. In this way, I can pass my IPPT test le and there is no need for me to leave the army. So i intend to stay and serve till May 2009 without having to pay any compensation. My company fully support me to go for part time study during this period of them... So I am soldier till 2009

I can foresee that i am going to be in low spirit and unhappy for quite a long time. Still could not understand certain things and to accept the fact that certain things turn out this way.

However something did shine a ray of happiness on my life. My clerk and me were on duty and chatting before sleep, my clerk said something.. I felt really comfort. He said' CQ, why are u always so happy? You make the surrounding pple also very happy environment leh.. You are the happiest person i ever see." Though i am sad everyday.. there is still pple who think i am happy. I have a strong front ya.

Came home with quite a good mood. Now i am super low. why am i always upset. This mean to be a yesterday post but no mood to continue... haha

Will people remember me when I am not around? or do life go on without me and no body cares? we shall find out...

Haha.. Be on a diet since sunday.. Changes made me seriously wanted to slim down once and for all.. Being taking one meal since sunday. Now having some back pain, so when i get better, I will start on some exercise..

Sunday.lunch - Mac, Dinner - nil
Monday. lunch - Cookhouse food, Dinner - 1 fishball
Tuesday. Breakfast - 1 nugget, Lunch - Cookhouse Food, Dinner - 1 Luncheon Meat
Wed - Lunch - Soup with tao pok, Dinner - 1 banana

I now than really think that to seriously go on diet is not easy. Take a lot of control and determination.. haha.. Because sometimes u will unconsciously want to take somethings to eat.. Haha.. I am very determined now..But for how long? Hmmm..

Not happy and super Hungry Hungry..lolx

Life is unpredictable. My heart is dead and my life is like falling into the cliff and its seems that i will never reach the foot of the cliff.. I just keep falling and falling.. How comes happy times and days don seems to like me and always accompanied me are sadness. You can say i am pesimistic or wat. when your life is going down and down. how are you going pick yourself up. Argh.. just leave me alone. My life is a sad story itself. I think there is really something wrong with me as a person. I really need to relect and made changes to myself.

Future is a very big word and I am lack of in this area. Future links with happiness, sadness, anger and laughter. There are many many other things that is link with future. Many times, this word appear in my life and nothing good is related to it. Don know what to say. Many areas in my life is a flop and nothing much is there to be proud of. I literally spoilt my own future myself. Am I such a lousy person. The answer is maybe ba.. Haiz.. idiot person i am.. anyway... Haiz..

Haiz.. One word 'SAD" My life is so sad.

Went clubbing at phuture yesterday.. Thinking clubbing is still not my cup of tea.. haha..

Haha.. No need go for out ration for dinner today... shiok shiok... in the mess surfing net.. haha

Feel different recently. Something bothers in my heart. of course, as usual i am always bored. Life is not very interesting. hope that there is someone or somethings that can brighten up my life..

Will such day ever comes? i doubt so.. ha ha..

Photo taken at wan yee birthday...

Does did a cab make me a spendthrift? What is the difference between me buying a car and pay 500 - 600 dollars instalment every month and taking cab every day? So does taking cab make me a spendthrift?

Anyway I am going to cut down my expenditure on cab. Going to take less cab.

To be myself again. Somehow lose myself recently...

Injured my back

Took IPPT on 050707, Thursday. injured my back.. had to fall out for the test. Struggled to go back camp to see MO. Given 2 days MC.

Now sat liao.. still very painful.. plus having fever and falling sick liao.. don know is it infection.. haha

Sian...

I am sad... Someone tell me buy something u really like.. it will make u happy.. i said.. i don have anything i like...

After thinking.. I think i have something that i want...

1. A Car... - Not now coz not useful

2. My own house - Too expensive.. not possible now

3. My own career - Don even know when i leaving army...

4. Family of my own - Not so soon... Don even have gf..... haha

so actually there nothing i like.. sian

Just don feel like talking...

AHM

4th run - 11km in 75min

Depressed

Living in the world where I have friends, Colleagues, family, subordinates and strangers... I don feel happy. I feel lonely at heart. Lost interest in everything, simpily unhappy. I do not know wat is wrong..

Things I wanted to do in the rest of year 2007

A lot of things I wanted to do but due to time constraint or no companion. They are not done. Nevertheless, I will find people to go with me if not do it myself. :)

1. Apply for UniSim (BSC marketing)
2. Go Genting
3. Go Hong Kong or Taiwan
4. Eat Steamboat
5. Go to Zoo
6. Go to Bird Park
7. Go to National Library
8. Go to Night Safari
9. Go to all places in Sentosa
10. Take part in a Volutary group
11. Get my weight to 80 plus kg
12. Take more photos
13. Find back my old friends
14. To go China (FuZhou)
15. Go to all the diiferent night spots
16. Spend money... haha
17. Think more for my family
18. More to think of as I have not try many things. I want to try more new thing and to experience the world out that. To see the more things and broaden my knowledge.

Laptop spoiled

Bored and lonely enough.. hahaha.. now my laptop spoiled.. Sian

AHM

3rd run - 10km in 66min 11s

Not Again

My dental is postphoned again

21 June 2007

To Live My Life For Myself And Not Others

Bad Mood

Bad mood recently and I cannot stand certain attitude ya. Maybe some people do things are always like that but no feeling good mood, that why cannot stand it recently. But i never say anything still.

I may be very nice and but.. Haiz.. not a big issue la.. just not feeling good... The old Lao Da is gone ba... Now the one left is always feeling down and everything seems not right. I am just an irriating person here. I am not feeling happy only.

HAIZZZ....

My ankle pain

Haha... my ankle is in pain after 10km run yesterday.. better recover faster.. got another 10km run on friday..

Haha don know why some of the instructors are running 12km for the army half marathon but i am running 21km. Siao la..

Even funny is that my ASA tell me that someone from HQ said that i am going to be promoted.. I tell my ASA don bluff la.. Never pass my IPPT still can promote meh.. haha. Joke of the year..

Army Half Marathon Training

1st run - 8km in 68 min

2nd run - 10km in 71 min

Personality test

I take my personality test again... once again my personality is consistant and i am moving more to introverted liao

Your Type is ISFJ

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
56 1 75 56

Qualitative analysis of your type formula You are:

moderately expressed introvert
slightly expressed sensing personality
distinctively expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

Jobs for me:

Translator
Computer Programming
Design Graphic, Industrial, Interior
Engineering
Customer Service
Accounting/Bookkeeping
Paralegal
Social Service
Religious Education
Counseling
Health Care
Health Care Administration
Medical/Dental Assistant
Nursing
Radiologic Technician

Holiday?

Though only 4 people know the web address... I still want to ask.. Anyone want to go Genting in September.. Most prob 2nd week of september..Haha.. whether there are people going a not, I will be going.. Haha

Back to work

Back to work today. Time flies faster. Even though there is nothing much to be done. haha.

Anyway 10km run tommorrow. Not sure if i still can run.. lolxx..

Flash of thought

What is life after death like?

What is the last thing on my mind before death?

Will I have live my life to the fullest before I die?

I do not want to have any regrets or unfulfiled dreams before i die.

Leave finally over

After 11 days of not working, my leave is finally over. I am going back to work tommorrow. At least something to do in camp, and at least time will passed faster. 2 more BSLC courses and i can look forward to leaving the army. Short is might be seen, but it is another half a year thing.

I really know how to spend money ya.. just by going out yesterday, i spent nearly 100 dollars. I must really cut down on my expense.

Haiz... Bored...

Haiz... I am so bored. One week of leave and I have wasted it. Practically doing nothing the whole day. Wanted to go out but don know where to go and wat to do. Most importantly i don know who to go out with.

People say close friends only need to have a few but. I don have much friends to start with. People usually are able to find someone to go out with to eat dinner or watever when they are bored. Or watever.. i realise that i cannot find anyone with maybe except one.

My meeting with people usually in a group of at least 3. Although sometimes my meeting with alvin is the 2 of us only. I find it hard to call anyone and say hey, dinner lets go, people usually ask he free or not she free or not.. if not all don wan liao.. sian.. Maybe i am a boring person and people all don like to go out with me alone. This lead to me lazy to ask people out liao. Anyway, wat can i do when i go out with people ya... i am not good at anything... not good at playing pool or watever.. not good at singing... My singing sucks... lolxx.. What can i say to people man.

Don know what happen, I am feeling quite moody recently. Maybe I am lonely ba. or the introvert personality have become for prominent. Lonely lonely and lonely.... I find it difficult to get anyone to maybe listen to wat i have to say. Even sometimes i feel that wat i going to say is worthless and not worth listen plus i am always repeating myself. I am a shallow person and i have not much deapth and experience to share with people ba. Maybe age is catching up or i am feeling old liao. I wish to have someone who will listen to wat i have to say and understand me. Not much interest in the things i do and not much concern on how i look. People are getting older and wiser but i really cannot see any improvement in myself.

So much regrets and wrong things i have done in my life, how i wish i am to return to the past and get things right again. One of the things i regret the most is never to study hard during A level. More and more of my friends are getting their degree. What am I man? Most of my secondary school and jc friends are degree holders and leading a desirable life. Now even my poly friends are starting to get their degree... I felt so useless...

Happy lucky person some people may look at me. A person who is a spendthrift and spend money without control. Actually I don spend much. I have my own feelings and thinkings which people don seems to understand. I also have my own problems which i don wish to tell people.haha..

Looking at people and thinking a lot. Does true friends really exists? I treat people well and do they do the same thing? They are certain things that i really don understand. Does replying a msg really so difficult and take so much time? Myabe sometime you are really busy, but when you are free, you do return people msg. Why is the basic courteous? How can people return msg the 1 or 2 days later or a few days later. Even some don even reply. People still can say, hey at least i reply u ya.. i don even reply some. thanks ya... sometimes i don even remember wat i msg liao. Am I so insignificent? Does my msg mean nothing to a person?

Even worst, heard that one of my 'used to be' good friend got engage recently and he did not invite any of us lor. very good ya. I thought How can this happen. Even if u not inviting people to ur engagement, u should at least msg and say hey i getting engaged. After a while, someone told me that he had not get engage yet but lost his phone so he did not reply to any of our msg. Lost liao and don bother to find out his friends number again? OUTSTANDING!!!

Another case, got 1 good friend of mine not feeling very good with her current job, and feeling depressed. it happen that we are talking abt it, so encouraged her and is constantly msging her everyday to encourage her. Coz i been thru depressed state maybe not depression yet. I know that encouragement is good. DO YOU KNOW WHEN I FEELING DEPRESSED maybe for the start people are still listening to me but in the end, many are only thinking that i am always complaining.... how many can understand wat i am going thru.. Lucky i do get 1 or 2 encouraging msg from people. True friends!!! how many I have ya...

Back to that friend of mine, for the 2 -3 weeks of msging, she went missing all of a sudden... msg her and she did not reply ya. Not quite surprised as people sometime don return my msg. My only concern is that is she dead? So somehow i found out she still alive. i msg her and she never reply. since she still alive, i just leave it as it is. Than 2 -3 weeks later, on my birthday, she msg me happy belated birthday. Huh! Appear again after missing. I ask her why never reply my msg. She say she went overseas because of work...

Is it a good reason for not replying? A good friend of your showing concern abt u when u are feeling down, and u went overseas and simplily ignore his msg.. OUTSTANDING... Sometimes i really question the value of my friendship to others. If friendship can have a price tag, how much is my friendship worth?

Yes, you may say that i am narrow-minded. But I tell you that I am not. Small and little actions show a lot. It show how much a person mean to you. how much my friendship is worth. I may not say anything, it does not mean i don know or you can take me for granted. Maybe people don realise. But I know

My Birthday on 08062007

This year birthday is slightly a special one. I plan my own birthday ya. I have book a chalet. It was meant to be a gathering for my poly friends, who knows the main event become my birthday celebration. Anyway Thanks to my friends, I have a beautiful MP4 players, or walkman you will call it. Spend 4 days at the chalets, main people who stay there are Alvin, gabriel and Wynn and Werner. Wilson came everyday of the chalet though. There are sher fun, Wan yee and Yu hui will have spend the Saturday night there.

My Birthday Present

My Gang

My Birthday Cake. Nice?

Year 3 :)

A New Begining

Just have a urge to close down my old blog address and to create a new one. See if any body will ever find out this one.