I know people are concerned abt me. Thanks. I will try to be happy

Yeah.. Book out liao.. There are still many many book out that are going to come along the way. I am downgraded to C2L2 and just being given excused Chin up and Standing board jump for IPPT test. In this way, I can pass my IPPT test le and there is no need for me to leave the army. So i intend to stay and serve till May 2009 without having to pay any compensation. My company fully support me to go for part time study during this period of them... So I am soldier till 2009

I can foresee that i am going to be in low spirit and unhappy for quite a long time. Still could not understand certain things and to accept the fact that certain things turn out this way.

However something did shine a ray of happiness on my life. My clerk and me were on duty and chatting before sleep, my clerk said something.. I felt really comfort. He said' CQ, why are u always so happy? You make the surrounding pple also very happy environment leh.. You are the happiest person i ever see." Though i am sad everyday.. there is still pple who think i am happy. I have a strong front ya.

Came home with quite a good mood. Now i am super low. why am i always upset. This mean to be a yesterday post but no mood to continue... haha

Will people remember me when I am not around? or do life go on without me and no body cares? we shall find out...

Haha.. Be on a diet since sunday.. Changes made me seriously wanted to slim down once and for all.. Being taking one meal since sunday. Now having some back pain, so when i get better, I will start on some exercise..

Sunday.lunch - Mac, Dinner - nil
Monday. lunch - Cookhouse food, Dinner - 1 fishball
Tuesday. Breakfast - 1 nugget, Lunch - Cookhouse Food, Dinner - 1 Luncheon Meat
Wed - Lunch - Soup with tao pok, Dinner - 1 banana

I now than really think that to seriously go on diet is not easy. Take a lot of control and determination.. haha.. Because sometimes u will unconsciously want to take somethings to eat.. Haha.. I am very determined now..But for how long? Hmmm..

Not happy and super Hungry Hungry..lolx

Life is unpredictable. My heart is dead and my life is like falling into the cliff and its seems that i will never reach the foot of the cliff.. I just keep falling and falling.. How comes happy times and days don seems to like me and always accompanied me are sadness. You can say i am pesimistic or wat. when your life is going down and down. how are you going pick yourself up. Argh.. just leave me alone. My life is a sad story itself. I think there is really something wrong with me as a person. I really need to relect and made changes to myself.

Future is a very big word and I am lack of in this area. Future links with happiness, sadness, anger and laughter. There are many many other things that is link with future. Many times, this word appear in my life and nothing good is related to it. Don know what to say. Many areas in my life is a flop and nothing much is there to be proud of. I literally spoilt my own future myself. Am I such a lousy person. The answer is maybe ba.. Haiz.. idiot person i am.. anyway... Haiz..

Haiz.. One word 'SAD" My life is so sad.

Went clubbing at phuture yesterday.. Thinking clubbing is still not my cup of tea.. haha..

Haha.. No need go for out ration for dinner today... shiok shiok... in the mess surfing net.. haha

Feel different recently. Something bothers in my heart. of course, as usual i am always bored. Life is not very interesting. hope that there is someone or somethings that can brighten up my life..

Will such day ever comes? i doubt so.. ha ha..

Photo taken at wan yee birthday...

Does did a cab make me a spendthrift? What is the difference between me buying a car and pay 500 - 600 dollars instalment every month and taking cab every day? So does taking cab make me a spendthrift?

Anyway I am going to cut down my expenditure on cab. Going to take less cab.

To be myself again. Somehow lose myself recently...

Injured my back

Took IPPT on 050707, Thursday. injured my back.. had to fall out for the test. Struggled to go back camp to see MO. Given 2 days MC.

Now sat liao.. still very painful.. plus having fever and falling sick liao.. don know is it infection.. haha

Sian...

I am sad... Someone tell me buy something u really like.. it will make u happy.. i said.. i don have anything i like...

After thinking.. I think i have something that i want...

1. A Car... - Not now coz not useful

2. My own house - Too expensive.. not possible now

3. My own career - Don even know when i leaving army...

4. Family of my own - Not so soon... Don even have gf..... haha

so actually there nothing i like.. sian

Just don feel like talking...

AHM

4th run - 11km in 75min